Let’s Grow Better Together Quickly +Month

I’m starting this blog post with an affectionate smile across my face. LGBTQ+ Pride Month has begun, acknowledging the broad spectrum of humanity and their unique stories and journeys that naturally occur all around us.

I am so blessed to have friends that align as LGBTQ+. The levels of resilience, community and communication that I’ve witnessed, especially in the face of societal distrust, are both admirable and align with my social justice imperatives. “Liberty and justice for all” should leave no room for misinterpretation, yet too many Americans chose to invoke their personal beliefs on that phrase.

And I get it. Human instincts cause us to fear what we don’t understand, a great survival mechanism. But the propaganda overlaid by belief systems that create distrust and fear only serve the power brokers, not the common people. Biological traits, like everything in nature, have a distribution. Why shouldn’t sexuality?

I appreciate people of all backgrounds that have been supportive of my foray into creative writing, and fictional erotica in particular. Part of the challenge was that my writing background lay in scientific and analytical papers, void of emotion and the human experience. Which was fine by me, because I’ve struggled with emotion and vulnerability for much of my life.

The choice to write fictional erotica was part of an effort for this old(er) soul to be more expressive, honoring and expanding my sensual soul. I had always enjoyed the language of love, sex and/or affirmation. They could distract me when I needed an escape, mind-fuck me when I was preparing for a steamy night, or stir passion as my lover and I listened or read, caressing skin upon skin. But could I write them? Cohesively? Paint the imagery of my mind into paragraphs.

I needed to learn how to compile that into words that could resonate in the hearts of others. As an auditory and visual learner, I dove into creative writing videos, Masterclass lectures, relationship and sexuality podcasts, and yes, even books. I scrutinized their content. What words were being chosen and why? The construct and the flow. Then I began crafting my own words around sparks of interest and curiosity, merged with my life experiences.

The initial efforts were terrible! The emotional content was token at best, and thankfully, content reviewers demanded more. Slowly, I got better as skilled writers and editors encouraged me along to broaden my perspectives, and in doing so, my emotional vocabulary. My biggest struggle continues to be “telling” instead of “showing” while maintaining flow. Right behind that is that my techno-nerd brain still wants to dispense all the facts and backgrounds, which lose the reader quickly. While I still fall off of the wagon sometimes, overall I know I’m progressing.

I had also taken on the challenge of writing three stories reflecting different sexualities and/or lifestyles. Among my first few completed stories were a heterosexual male/female hookup, a heterosexual male and female couple where the female helped the man engage in his gay interaction, A male/female married couple looking to reignite passion, and two lesbian singles hooking up. All were eventually purchased for publication, which encouraged me to press on.

As I did, I added another challenge. Write content without committing to the character’s gender or sexuality until the end, then looping back to add details supporting my choice. The lesbian story noted earlier was written that way. It wasn’t until the end of my first draft that I decided the two characters would be female. I still feel it is one of my best at expressing emotion and human connection to date.

I sent that story to a mentor who had also been an instrumental influence with a male/female married couple story that was my first sale. This mentor was lovingly blunt in her feedback and guidance.

“Are both really yours?” she said. “I wouldn’t think you could have written both of them.”

My heart soared.