Opening to Vulnerability: Writing My First Blog

Crafting this first blog post has been the most difficult and vulnerable piece I’ve written since taking up creative writing two years ago. I don’t fancy talking about myself. Give me a topic or story line, and I’ll research, compile and slosh along to produce an outline that has the chance of evolving into some level of cohesive content.

But writing about myself? That’s worse that death, because it’s real and it’s vulnerable. And vulnerability makes it scary. Besides, I’d rather be in the background to create and contribute. But inquiring minds want to know, if for no other reason that to connect my stories and blog posts to me. And that’s fine by me.

So here goes.

Who Is Ramone?

I am a Renaissance Man with a split personality, equal parts autocratic and democratic. A compersive leader who relishes scenarios where people can thrive individually and collectively, with every opportunity to realize their best selves.

I have diverse interests that have and will continue to evolve throughout life, thanks to an inquisitive, analytical mind. I love brainstorming and problem solving, and try learning one or two new things each year. This year it’s been learning about web pages and developing meaningful, connective content.

I am happiest in the outdoors, regularly hiking and maintaining hiking trails. I often use my bicycle for local errands. I’ll rarely turn down an opportunity to canoe or kayak.

I’ve been engaged in mentoring, tutoring and/or teaching for over three decades. My immigrant parents and relatives influenced that. They taught me that everyone has talents to offer, given the opportunity and situation.

I love cooking and creating flavor combinations. The neighbors don’t mind being taste testers for my creations. In particular, I enjoy crafting gluten-free or vegan creations that don’t taste that way. My biggest challenge has been trying to craft gluten free croissants.

I’m that person who will bring something I’ve never made before to a potluck gathering. It’s the perfect opportunity to try something new.

Why Is Creative Writing Difficult and Vulnerable?

Creative writing is difficult because I’m lacking in some common traits that writers generally have. Namely, a joy for reading and a difficulty with comprehension. I never gained a love for reading beyond fulfilling a functional need, and never did well at creative writing for similar reasons. Part of that was the influencers in my young life. Part of it was my makeup. Most of my erotica writing influences come from audio stories, podcasts, and discussions.

I remember taking my SAT Test in high school, achieving a near-perfect score on the math section questions that were open-ended and focused on speed. I also scored below average on the verbal section that tested things like analogies, antonyms, and reading comprehension, and aimed at predicting how well students could navigate the English language.

It all made sense. I was both highly analytical and a loner that did not take criticism well. It was my silo, that quirky, quiet wallflower in the corner.

How that changed is a two-pint discussion for another time. But when the COVID pandemic lockdown hit in 2020, it wiped my active calendar clean.

Forced into solitude, I reflected on life’s challenges that I wanted to face. On things I’d wanted to try, but never made the time for. Among my list of possibilities, creative writing and expressionism came together. My erotic self joined in, and it spawned the decision to try this.

Why Did I Choose the Vulnerability of Erotica?

I write erotica for three reasons. The first is that I am a passionate person. I see art and beauty everywhere. It can be the subtle curves of a woman’s breast beneath her arm. It can be the way a grouping of clouds looks like an alligator lurching from muddy waters to snag its prey. And it can be an elegant calculus solution to a seemingly difficult problem.

The second is that I’m an epistemophiliac, a lover of knowledge. I thrive on learning and exploring concepts and ideas. I could stay up all night with the right person or people, exploring each other’s thoughts and ideas with euphoric passion. The most fun I ever had during my career was when I took on seemingly impossible challenges and nurtured them to fruition.

The third, an offshoot of the second, is the challenge. And creative writing is one hell of a challenge for me.

So there it is. The desire to create the best I’m capable of, and that along the way I may create something that you, the reader, may enjoy.