Three Years In and Loving Life

About three years ago, at the ripe young age of 62, I took an assortment of erotic ideas, concepts, fantasies and inspirations from over the years into my first genuine attempt at creative writing. I’d written hundreds of technical and opinion pieces, but they were all sterile and devoid of emotion, which was to be expected. Pouring personal emotions into such content would weaken its persuasiveness, as the recipient would think I was tugging on heartstrings because I didn’t have the facts and data to fully support my position.

But that part of my world was behind me now, and I was looking for other things that intrigued me or that I had hidden away, like that special tool that I was sure would serve its purpose someday. Things to inspire my inner Renaissance Man and provide elements of personal growth.

That’s where the convergence of creative writing and erotica came together. Attempting either could reap tremendous rewards. Connecting them successfully felt almost unattainable, and that made it an enticing goal.

I had no delusions that anything I did would be worthy of publication, or approach the skills of the writers that inspired me. My reward lay in the journey more than the destination. Readable and correct grammar were paramount for me, as I bristled whenever I found such errors in what I read. Expanding feelings and emotions in my life were at the forefront. One certainty was that I would do this in secrecy, especially from my partner and her master’s degree in creative writing and literature. I love her dearly, but needed to find my way first. It was a risk I was willing to take.

My final inspiration came from an episode of Dr. Emily Morse’s Sex With Emily shows. A male listener spoke about the effects work travel had on the relationship with his wife. He took his longing for her, and the erotic thoughts he had while traveling, and composed them into a story of what he might find when returning from a trip. His wife did more than just enjoy it. She enacted the story for him, following his script and creating a magical night for the both of them.

Hearing that compelled me to try. The worst that could happen was the creation of foolish gibberish. The best? Successful storytelling, and recognition of who I was and wanted to be, both to myself and to those that mattered.

So here I am, three years into what I originally intended as a one year challenge. Some amazingly generous, caring and compelling people I’ve connected with in the writing community in general, and erotica community specifically, have made this an enriching experience. Some of my stories have sold to various sources, which I’m very proud of. But that’s icing on the cake. My abilities to associate and communicate with people have grown immensely, as have my knowledge about sex, sexuality, and who I am at this stage of life.

Towards the end of the first year, after I sold my first three stories, I followed my plan and informed my partner about what I was up to. She felt betrayed at first, and I understood why. It took time and open discussion, and more time, but once she understood why I didn’t disclose this up front we worked things out. Now, she edits some of my stories and really enjoys reading or hearing the final products. The greatest benefit for both of us has been the discussions we have, and how those have invigorated our intimacy.

My writing has not been financially profitable, but financial reward was never the goal. The money for writing software, books, websites and sessions has come from scaling back on other expenses. The life enrichment that I sought has been priceless. And the writing I do for two other types of audiences has a better structure and more depth than ever before. All good!

In closing…

I did an interview for CanvasRebel magazine recently. If you want to know more about who this crazy person is, check it out. Otherwise, my next blog post will likely be in early June.