May Flowers, Growth, and Masturbation
I am so thankful to see May come around. April was a dichotomy of an attempted sabbatical overshadowed by studious preparations for a recertification exam. Efforts to manage the two concurrently exposed misalignments between my primary partner and myself that they didn’t communicate and I didn’t recognize. The subsequent powder keg that went off was demonstrative! We’ll see how the future looks, but for now, there’s a truce in place.
But beautiful May, in all its springtime glory, was, IS, intentionally centered and progressing around four purposes:
- A return to writing
- Hitting the hiking trails regularly again
- Springtime planting, including my chef’s garden
- Masturbation
What an impressive list, eh?!
Let’s touch on the most eye-catching item first, the last.
Masturbation May is much more than dancing with my maypole. It’s about intentional time to reconnect with my erotic self to see how that relationship is going. Where’s my physicality at? Am I as attuned, engaged, and open to exploration? What new ideas and approaches have I thought of trying, or wanted to revisit?
It took a long, long time for me to get there. I grew up in a household where sex and sexuality were NEVER open for discussion. It’s not that “the talk” with my father was functional or limited. It didn’t happen. Period.
My mom was the one with whom I had any touchy-feely discussions with, and I sure as hell would not talk about sexuality with her. Way too embarrassing! So my knowledge came from the streets, friends and whatever porn I could get my hands on. A baker I worked for at fourteen had sleazy newspapers in the shop bathroom. I would read them for “knowledge”, too shy and ignorant to even ask friends if any of it was real or right.
As you might expect, this led to a lot of awkwardness and mistakes made over the years. I came to own them, but spent decades never understanding their causes until much later in life. The ability to understand my sexual self came later in life, but I’m damn thankful it arrived, and I’m making intentional efforts to be my best self for whatever time I have left.
This awareness has also created fresh paths of discovery for my partner and I, which along with other explorations has energized our intimacy.
As for the other May items, yes! I’m thrilled to be writing daily again. I’ll be focusing on short stories for May, and my reasonable goal is to complete three that are in progress or have been returned by editors with recommendations. There are enough drafts in the hopper to keep produce two to three short stories a month through the year. Given that it took me ~five months to complete one only three years ago, I’m really proud of my progression.
I actually posted a story in April in response to a submission call. Red Panties and Purple Passions in posted on my site, and accessible via the story title hyperlink or here.
There’s also a novel that my partner and I started writing a while back. I had to force it to the back burner, but it’s time to breathe life into it again once June rolls around.
The hiking and trail restoration? Once a week fits in just fine as part of my daily activity routine. I also started using a bicycle again for errands around town. My body rebelled at first, but the payoff has been worth it.
I’ve ordered seeds and cleaned up growing areas for this year. I’ll post some pictures as soon as it’s past the embarrassment point, but hollyhocks, wisteria, sages and other plants aren’t waiting for me, and I’m happy to work around them.
So, there’s my May ramble. Here’s hoping you have a great month as well. Thoughts and ideas are always welcome.